Saturday, October 29, 2011

Been awhile since I've posted

I have had so much going on lately! I gave my first college presentation since 2003. Man, I sure was nervous. It was in a 400 level class and I've really been struggling with the material in it. I worked for over eight hours on the powerpoint and material. I was given a 27 page social experiment from a pysch journal that I had to present and answer a bunch of scholarly questions about. Normally, I am good at this type of thing but I psyched myself out so bad. I doubted my abilities left and right, about had a panic attack. Got to class and of course he did it alphabetically by last name so I had to go first!! I was very nervous. BUT I got a 100% on it! All 50 points! (The class is only 400 points so Ill take it!)I had written out the questions on the slides and the answers to each so that I wouldn't forget anything. He said I was his first and only 100% in five years. He wrote on my evaluation that I was "organized, professional and well spoken" how about that? He also told the rest of the class they had big shoes to follow. I was shocked! Guess I am not as dumb as I thought. I also took the math placement test, sure I was going to fail it. I am horrible at math. I can do day to day math pretty well, calculate percentages etc, but academic math not so much. I was worried because testing into below a 100 level college math class would mean TWO semesters of math. But, again, I doubted my ability and tested into college stats. I scored really high on the college algebra section! I was quite shocked. Also, met with my academic counselor and found out next December I graduate. I will have two bachelor degrees then and of course my original associates. I am very excited about it!

Next week is midterms- I have five! EEEK! I am stressing over them. Mainly because I have horrible test anxiety. My first time around in school I ended getting to take my tests proctored verbally because I was failing the written ones, I really doubt myself. Say the answer is A, and I know the answer is A, I will talk myself out of A and choose C. I have to really try hard not to do that next week.

I met with my counselor for the third time this week. I really like her. We are working on coping and communication techniques, addressing my PTSD and she put in a referral to meet with a psychiatrist. We both are considering a temporary medication right now, she said its not ok to be as depressed and anxious as I have been. Neither of us think I need a long term medication but rather a short term helper while we figure everything out.

I also did a family photo shoot for a friend. I think I got some ok photos for them, she seemed to really like them.

I have still be writing my column for the newspaper.

I have also been taking my camera a lot more places. I really love photography. Let me rephrase, I really love taking pictures of things I find beauty in and then sharing that beauty with other people. I tend to be a nature photographer. I really enjoy nature and our surroundings. Here are a few of my recent photos. I am thinking about perhaps selling some of them on greeting cards and prints for houses. I keep getting asked for them, I just dont think I am professional enough to really do it, but it might make for a fun hobby.

Click on the images to see them blown up :)

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